Booth Family Values

I said: "Gluteus Maximus"

He said: "More like beauty-ous Maximus"


This was said by a usually extremely polite boy. I admit I'm a little disappointed I didn't come up with it myself. Great right?

Don't worry Dad, he wasn't coming on to me. And sorry Mom, he wasn't coming on to me. He is just a buddy. I was going to just make this a short little quote of the day, but now all these less endearing references to derrieres keep popping into my head. Especially this one which was widely propagated by a Ms. Salt and Ms. Peppa circa the early 90's:

"I wanna thank yo' motha for a butt like that."

Unfortunately, no one can thank my mother for a butt like that. And well, you can't stop the blog wheels in my head once they start turning. I feel that at this time I need to squash the widespread and automatic assumption that certain assets have maternal origins. The Booth Butt is just that, a genetically Booth trait. A family heirloom, if you will. It is passed down from generation to generation, manifesting itself more prominently in some than in others. I'm sure I could scrape up some candid family photos depicting my point, but I feel that would embarrass far too many people and at least one of them would attempt to assassinate me. Maybe someday I'll dedicate an entire scrapbook to the subject and keep it privately and safely confined away from the viral spread of humiliating information known as the internet. And if I were a more crass individual I would point out the well rounded appearance of several words in this paragraph that contain the letters s, a, and s.... used right next to each other and in a better order. Have fun going back and looking for them. I know you will.

I used to think that I had somehow managed to escape the inheritance of the mark of the Booth. When I was in junior high I was extremely fit and tiny. Sometimes I even mourned the absence of curves in a certain bodily geometric plane. But when this commercial came out, I inwardly rejoiced.



Once I got to high school not a whole lot changed, although I did possess hips and thighs that inspired certain HILARIOUS (no wait, obnoxious) boys to set in motion stories such as this. Still. Not really a Booth Butt.

Then. I went to college. And discovered Nutella. My weight has fluctuated in the last 5 years between 150 and 195 pounds. Right now the needle on the scale rests somewhere in the middle and I don't care to discuss it. The point is this:

Of all the weight I've gained (or lost) over the years, hardly any of it has ever taken up residence in my midsection. I'm about 25 pounds overweight right now. Welcome, Booth Butt. You have found your place with me at last.

Quote of the Day

"Farmville is an institution of Satan."

OMGlee

This is the quote of the decade.... and if it would translate as well into text maybe I would just type it. BUT its not so much what she says (which is mildly offesive)... it's the way she delivers the line that is priceless. This is a clip from the judge's room after a glee club competition. The choir she is talking about is from a school for the deaf.

Quote of the Day

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."



- Theodore Roosevelt

Quote of the Day

Boy: Wow that smells good.

Me: uh... What?

Boy: Uh...

Me: Did you just smell my jolly rancher?

Boy: ... Yes.

Quotes of the Day

"Westminster Abbey! ... The smelliest bathroom in the WORLD is in there.... and I've been to bathrooms in Mexico."


Me: "I'm like a 5 year old boy..."
Co-worker: "Well that explains why you're having trouble with classes. School would be hard for a 5 year old. Unless you are majoring in Legos and Arthur"

Quote of the Day

"I'm living in a cocoon of horror. Yesterday I ate 9 cans of aerosol whipped cream."

-Sandy from Glee

Quote of the Day

"WETHDY is PATHETTY"

Quotes of the Day

Girl-talk makes me laugh. Especially when we talk about weird boys. Here is why:



"He and I... are finished. He is the meanest kid on the block."


"He needs a woman. A strange strange woman."


"I don't know. He is just a problem that will only be resolved by eliminating him."

Quote of the Day

" R is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it MURDER. Not MUCK-DUCK."


"Criminals are like raccoons okay. You give them a little taste of cat food, and soon they're back for the whole cat."

- Dwight K. Schrute, my love.

Quote of the Day

After wondering aloud if a certain boy was just trying to save me for a rainy day...


"You are sunny day material. Don't be any boy's rainy day."

-Rachel

Quote of the Day

"Uh... She is weird. She cuddles with dead swans. Yah."

Quote of the Day

"As long as his shoulders are wider than my hips....."

Quote of the Day

"...when a man and a woman fall in love they decide that they want to have a baby, then they send a letter to the baby headmaster requesting him to release a baby into their care, the headmaster deliberates and chooses a candidate baby that matches the needs of the man and woman and calls a stork and has it deliver the baby to the man and woman. Then there are other times that orders get mixed up and a baby gets delivered to the man and woman without them requesting it..."

Quotes of the Day

"I'm lacking a burrito." - Said gravely by a boy picking up his food at Taco Bell

"...Last night my pinky got dipped into my burning hot scensy while I was trying to fall asleep. It was all sorts of surprise and awful." - Nicole

Quote of the Day

"He is triple-dog dead to me."

-Me.


I just thought it was clever, okay?

Quote of the Day

While watching Mo-Tab during conference:

"oooh lets look for Sister [_____] . . . she has new teeth"

Quote of the Day

I peed a little when I read Nicole's comment in regards to this picture that posted when I took a "which type of man suits you best blah blahblah something lame" quiz on facebook.....






"What the heck!? .... Is he gonna eat that baby for a snack?"


-Nicole

Quote of the Day

"... And just like all good research, they came up with a way to torture babies... "


-Dr. Busby, talking about a study on forming attachment.



I laughed, because his comment reminded me of this picture that they had up on the BYU homepage for a long time. It is from an actual BYU study of infants and their responsiveness to emotion in music. Poor widdle baby!

Quote of the Day

"Did you just call me emo? Do I look emo? Am I wearing skinny jeans and converse and a shirt that says 'I want to kill myself'? "

-Shawn