"Don't quote me. Don't ever quote me..."

I'll leave them anonymous. But I'm sorry, these are gems I can't keep to myself...

"Boys are just babies with facial hair."

"Honey, I'm glad you're green!"

"Those ducks look so cold. I'm going to knit them all sweaters."

"Beach and boardwalk is a DUMP. Its where all the losers hang out. The ones who can't afford to pay entrance fees. It's NOT that nice."

"Its hotter than snot outside!"
Me: Snot isn't hot. That doesn't make sense.
"Fine, its hotter than DIARRHEA!"

"Leopard...................... zeopard."

... More to come as I remember them.