Inverse Insomnia

Weird. So. I have had trouble this week getting to sleep. And when I don't get to sleep, I basically just get barfy. But its that tortuous pseudo barfiness where you want to barf because you just feel nasty, but your body never really goes into full on barf mode.

Anyway, I haven't been getting to sleep until like 2 or 3 regardless of my best efforts. That causes a problem, because then I either sleep in and miss part of work, or I go to work without getting ready at all. I don't think my office appreciates my homeless-couture outfits and hairstyles. I mean, I usually get my make up done during my lunch hour, so I look half decent for 50% of my day, but I can't undo the damage done to all who have to be around me for my grumpy, barfy first wave of consciousness.

So last night, I was super tired. Get this... I was watching the discovery channel and I actually turned it off so that I could get to sleep. In the middle of a show. At 8:45! It was just barely starting to look like night time outside, and I was out like Hellen Keller in musical chairs. So then, at like 3:45 AM I had a nightmare about bears (I'm scared of them okay?!) and now I'm up for the day. Here's the weirdest thing: I feel just fine. I mean, maybe it works for some people. Like farmers. They get up at 4 in the morning to milk cows and stuff, and maybe they're onto something. I don't even have dark circles under my eyes. And no, I'm not on any drugs. Whoever said one hour of sleep before midnight was worth two hours after midnight wasn't lying.

So.. when I stay up late and wake up late I feel like grade A caca. But when I go to bed early and wake up early I feel excellent. Why did it take me so long to figure that out? Probably because I'm just a college kid. Bed time never really had a lot of value as long as I got at least 7 hours. I didn't think it made a difference, so why go to bed and be a party pooper? Oh I don't know. Maybe because its better for me. I mean, I'm not going to go to bed at 9 every night. That was not the decision made based on the outcome of my experience last night. BUT. The concept has been proven, and I would be an idiot not to go to bed early knowing now that it does make a difference. I don't want to be a farmer, but I do want to be better at getting to bed early.

And what have I done in the last 4 hours you ask? Well. I paid all my bills and took care of some other annoying stuff like that.

I'm going to go make breakfast, maybe hit the gym and maybe even get to work looking decent. Fancy that.

Mawwwaige.

Mawaige is what bwings us to-gether to-day. Well, its what brought me to write this blog. Lets talk about it. So. I was facebooking today.. you know.. just browsing classmates who graduated in my high school class. And I kid you not, like 75 percent of the girls had new last names. Really? Everyone married by age 21? I seem to have missed the memo. I really don't have an opinion about what age you should be married at, I mean how could I. Marriage is something you have to individually prepare for. If you feel you are ready to be married by age 20, and its right for you, then there is nothing wrong with being married by that age. I just never thought I would feel like an old maid at 21. For real. And thats not saying I want to get married right this second. Its not that I feel like I should be married by now, because I don't feel that way at all. But all around me, at least in my home town, the norm seems to be that most women are married by age 21. Really? I don't know its just blowing me away.

Benches and Such

So I have this obsession with park benches. I love looking at photography of all kinds, (no, not porn. That is a given) but when I see a pretty picture, and there is an empty park bench there I could just look at it forever. The bench has to be empty. Which could be recognizant of a few things.

It could appeal to me because I can appreciate simple things, sometimes even minimalist art if I�m in the right mood. Maybe it�s the plainness that draws me in.

Or. Its because I like to just sit sometimes outside and do nothing. You know� Just observe. I�d like to be in any of these places and just enjoy it.

Then there�s option number three. If I were only concerned with sitting, you�d think a chair would be just fine. But I HATE pictures where there is just a chair, or rocking chair, or basically any picture where there is only room for one person. I think I have this fascination with benches because not only would I like to be in that place, I�d like to be there with someone.

Who needs dr. Phil. I�ve just had a breakthrough. I�m sick of being the only person on the bench. When I look at an empty bench, there is always the possibility for it to be filled with me and someone else.

Unless a homeless person lays down there. Tangent. Anyway. If a girl sits on that bench with me, I would be pissed. I think I�m subconsciously saving that seat for Mr. Right. Not the relief society president. I am not on that bench because I need a friend, so back off.

And there we have it. The bench is empty. I don�t want to sit there unless it�s with someone I know I want to be next to. And that empty bench is full of possibilities.

TAG!

Okay, so I was tagged a while ago and started this a while ago and just finished it (5.22.08) Sorry. Sue me.

20 years ago: 20 Years ago I was quickly approaching my 1st birthday. My mom never let me cry, because every time I cried it ended in barf. Every single time. What can I say. I'm very close to my emotions. And breakfast.

10 years ago: 10 years ago I was basically a 5th grader trapped in a 15 year old's body. I had a green and blue blotchy patterned retainer, which Dave the janitor at Glenmoor had to fish out of the lunch room garbage cans from time to time. Someone needs to find that man and give him a medal.

5 years ago: 5 years ago I was about to turn 16, which is an age loaded with exciting new liberties. I was about to get my license, and the ever looming dating age hung right before me. Little did I know my 16th year of life would bring with it the worst blind date ever, an embarrassing collision with the neighbor's PARKED car, my first real job, and developing some of the very best friendships I've ever had. I was a little bit emotionally unstable, but at least there was no barf finale whenever I cried.

The Blind Date to End All Blind Dates

3 years ago: I had just been accepted to BYU and planned on going there in the fall. I never ever wanted to go to BYU, but I just felt like it was right and its been one of the best decisions I've ever made. (And no, I am NOT earning my MRS. Degree... College is awesome and I've learned so much!) I graduated Davis High with Honors, and began working in an office for Abercrombie & Fitch doing inbound customer service calls. Picture the snobbiest customers in the world, and then multiply that by a THOUSAND. And thats what I dealt with every day. But it taught me so much patience I can't say I regret it.

Oh Senior Year. Such a joy.

1 year ago: I had just successfully completed my 3rd semester at BYU, and had been through a year of CRAZY-A roommates that would make any sane college student lose their mind.

These are not them:

Oh, and Cassie had the most beautiful baby boy George last year too.

Yesterday: I rode various UTA vehicles to salt lake for mother's day so that my mom wouldn't have to drive all the way down to provo to pick me up. It took a whopping 2 and a half HOURS just to get from Provo to Temple Square via bus and trax. I really don't want to talk about it.

Today: Today is Mother's day. We made dinner for mom.. and gave her some sweet presents and basically just celebrated how awesome a mother she is.

Tomorrow: I will go back to Provo, to crazy independent study office life, and count down to my 21st Birthday!! And I will get to drive the Saturn back and keep it for a few days, a token for my travel troubles.

This year: Is going to be excellent. I have a great apartment, a pretty sweet new ward, and high hopes. I'm going to get healthy and I'm gonna "get whut I wan" - Kelly. You know.

This one: